Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He did a backflip because drugs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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