when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
