24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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