id be glad to
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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