Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
