I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
