there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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