Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
