You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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