i already hear my dad disowning me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
