all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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