Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
