I wanna bring you to show and tell
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
