no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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