Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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