talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
