Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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