Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Found your dick twin last night
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
