I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
