I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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