we're blogging at a bar
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
