someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
