arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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