Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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