it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
