When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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