it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
