She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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