I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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