physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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