I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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