You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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