He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You made out with two different species that night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
