i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
