I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
