There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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