Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wish i was in the wii world.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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