So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
