ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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