all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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