Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize