This girl is more easily done than said...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
