you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
