She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
