On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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