): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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