he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
