Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
