Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
