i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
