scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
