Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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