somebody snuck up and got me drunk
id be glad to
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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