there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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