If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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