No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
