i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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