some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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