For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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