I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
