we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
