he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
